Sarcastic

Warning: I Will Fall Asleep During The Movie You Picked

Warning: I Will Correct Your Grammar Mid-argument

I'm A Pisces, I'm Not Ignoring You, I'm Just In Another World

I'm An Aquarius, I'm Not Weird, You're Just Boring

I'm A Sagittarius, I'm Not Blunt, You're Just Sensitive

I'm A Virgo, I Already Judged You And Your Life Choices

I'm A Gemini, Which Personality Do You Want Today

My Dog Will Sit On You And You Will Let Him

I'm A Therapist. I Listen To Your Problems All Day And Still Can't Fix My Own

I'm A Cop. No, I Can't Get You Out Of A Ticket

I'm A Mechanic. Your Car Isn't Haunted, You Just Ignore The Noises

I'm A Chef. No, I Won't Cater Your Barbecue For Free

I'm A Teacher. No, I Can't Fix Your Kid In One Semester

I'm A Nurse. No, I Won't Look At Your Rash

I Work In It. No, I Won't Fix Your Printer At Thanksgiving

I'm Not Rude, I'm Just Honest And You're Sensitive

I Don't Need Your Opinion, I Have My Own And It's Better

I'm Not Working From Home, I'm Just Home With My Laptop Open

My Out-of-office Reply Is My True Personality

I'm Not Paid Enough To Care This Much, But Here We Are

My Job Is 10% Work And 90% Pretending I Know What I'm Doing

I Don't Do Mornings, I Do Coffee And Silent Judgment

My Group Chat Is The Only Therapy I Can Afford